Season Two - The Journey
The second stage in a woman’s life is between the ages of 30-50. Mind you, this is my own analogy for our discussion. This is the stage when women begin to explore their purpose based on their life choices. The decisions from stage one are developed and played out during this time.
Our life may go as planned, or it may change for no fault of our own, as in the case of divorce, loss of job, financial disaster, illness, and even death. We can’t always control what happens during this stage, but we can control our responses to those circumstances. Meaning, how we adjust to the unexpected changes that are bound to happen.
There are two main points I’d like to focus on during this stage that I believe will help women during this time. And like I said in my last post, I wish someone had told me when I faced divorce, and my life took on a direction I never expected.
First Point: Unexpected
The unexpected will happen, so it’s best to be prepared. Some will face greater challenges than others. Why? That is a question for God. But I can tell you this - there is purpose in the unexpected, and when we understand how to face the challenge, we not only find growth but blessings. And the only way to do that is to take it to God.
When the unexpected happens, our natural reaction may be to fall apart, succumb to bitterness or anger, maybe even rebel. Any of those left unchecked will rob us of the growth, blessings, and will of God that He desires for us. As a believer, God will not allow anything to happen to us that he not only has a reason for but has already provided the solution. We need to be open to discovering that purpose and solution.
I must take a slight detour here and say, if our unexpected problems are a result of our own wrong doing, then what we may be facing is self-induced misery. In this case, our only solution is to repent and confess it to God the Father. Only then can God turn our consequences into blessings. If we don’t, then we fall under God’s divine discipline. We need to ask if our suffering is a result of wrong doing and deal accordingly, or God will continue to discipline us as a loving parent would.
If that is not the case, then God is either redirecting your life for His purpose or giving you an opportunity for spiritual growth. Either one will lead to blessings once we identify them as such and embrace them. We do that by taking the challenge to God through prayer, listen to the leading of the Holy Spirit, and submit to God’s will, which is often hard when it opposes our human desire. This is where our faith comes in. Do we trust God? Do we believe He only works for good on our behalf? Do we desire His will above our own…at all cost? If we do, then embrace the change and watch the work God does in your life! If we don’t trust God enough to do that, then we will succumb to bitterness and anger and miss the blessing and purpose that God planned for us. If you struggle with the latter, the only solution is Bible doctrine. Learn the principles of God under a qualified teacher and apply God’s truth to your life and watch what God does. I promise His plan is better than yours!
Second: The Expected
No doubt most of what you planned for your life will be realized and know that how your life plays out (aside from the unexpected) is a result of the choices you make. We must accept responsibility for our choices and not blame others for how our life not turned out. Want a better life? Make better choices. And the better choices are found in the Word of God. With that said, I want to bring us back to this scripture…
Ecclesiastes 3:1 For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven.
I must address that this stage can be a confusing time because the choices we make to marry and have children can conflict with our desire for personal growth. When we overwhelm our lives by making our career, hobbies, or business a priority over our marriage and family, we fall out of the will of God. And we know what happens then (see paragraph six above). If you don’t have a husband and children, then keep going. But if you made the choice to marry and have children, please know they take priority over everything else…even church service!
Before you shoot this messenger, hear me out. Scripture is clear that God designed women for many purposes, but the priority is to our husbands and children, which is our ministry. The problem most women run into is that although we love our families, we don’t always feel fulfilled in the job that only we can appreciate. As we go through this stage, we begin to yearn for more and often seek fulfillment and significance in other things such as church service or our careers. When we do this, we go against God’s design for women and our lives begin to fall apart. Stress begins to erode our health, our marriage, & our family, all because we choose to seek significance outside of God’s plan.
For both men and women, God desires to be our all in all. He wants our significance to be found in Him alone. He wants to be our source of fulfillment and happiness, and we find that when we desire to know Him above anything this world has to offer. To learn of Him and live according to His Principles, by submitting to His will is where our true source of happiness, purpose, and significance is found. When that is our foundation for living, we embrace God’s design for us as women by finding our significance in following God’s principles to be the best servant of God, and the best wife and mother, and do it all to the glory of God…not man. If we seek significance in anyone or anything but God, we fall short, for only He can fill that emptiness in our heart.
Am I saying you can’t have the desires of your heart? No. Am I saying you can’t pursue your own God given gift, or talent? Big No! What I am saying is to not make them a priority over your marriage and family. And here is the point I hope is remembered above all else. And that is, explore your personal goals and desires, even learn how to achieve them. Take classes and dabble in the things you desire. Prepare yourself so that when you reach stage three you will be equipped to fulfill your dream according to God’s plan.
God will use us for specific purposes in every stage, but the second stage, when done right, becomes the foundation for stage three, where God can use us for our greatest purpose. Where the spiritual growth we experienced in stage two springboards us to a dynamic stage three. So, don’t jump the gun! Run the race God has before you at each given moment. Enjoy the journey and embrace His truth for a fantastic finish!
A right thing done in a wrong way is still wrong. Only a right thing done in a right way is right!
Next week we address stage three…The Dynamic Stage!
