Season One - The Foundation
Season One of a woman’s life is that age between 18-30 when the choices we make set the foundation for the rest of our lives. When I think back to this season in my life, I see so many mistakes and regrets and things I wish I had done differently. Hang with me until the end where I have encouraging news for those who feel the same.
This season is a time when we begin to understand who we are as women and when our personalities and character begin to manifest themselves in our choices. I say begin because those of us who are in the later stages can attest…we are not the same person we were when we were younger. For some, that is a good thing. For others, not so much. As we age, our experiences, the way we respond to them, and the choices we make set the path for the later stages in life.
Choices of whether to marry, who to marry, whether to have children, career choices, are the major players in this stage. But what many may fail to realize is that every choice makes a difference, and many choices, once made, are not reversable. This is why this stage is so critical.
I remember the turmoil of my twenties. I often wished I had a crystal ball to tell me what choices to make. I wanted to see the end result of each choice, so I would know which one was the right one. And I will let you in on a little secret that I never told anyone before. I wanted so much to make the right choice as to who to marry, that I even went to a psychic! After driving to the seedy side of town and paying them to light a candle at their church for me, I came away with no more understanding than before, and I was out $20. I was twenty at the time, and although a believer (obviously immature), I looked to man/flesh for the answers instead of God.
There is no way we can know our future, but God does. And the principle that I’m about to share with you is one that I wish I knew when I was at this stage, and that is ~ God has a plan for your life that fits perfectly in His bigger plan. And when we submit to His plan, our life is blessed. Not perfect! Not without mistakes! And certainly not without suffering! But blessed. I’m sure your question to that is…how do we know what that plan is? And how can we be sure we are following it?
The answer is simple, yet so many (me! me! me!) ignore it because it requires us to submit to God and trust His plan over ours. We are so eager as young women to begin our lives with nothing but a clean, empty slate before us, that we often miss this principle all together. I remember clearly thinking that I knew better than God what would make me happy, and then went after it. Which, so many of you know leads to regret.
For us to submit and trust in God’s plan as a young adult woman, is probably the most difficult decision to make, because the world (aka flesh) is running full steam ahead to pull us into its lie.
1 John 2:16-17 ~For everything in the world - the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, comes NOT from the Father, but from the world.
I love how the New Living Translation puts it…
For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father but are from the world.
I’m speaking of both believers and unbelievers. Like me, most young woman who are believers have not gained enough Bible doctrine nor spiritual maturity to understand, let alone submit to this principle. but there is hope, which I promised I would address at the end. But we aren’t there yet, so hang in here a little longer.
So, how does a young woman submit to God’s plan and ignore the lust of the flesh at such a vulnerable time in her life? (of course, this applies to young men, too) She does it the same way we older women do, through the power of the Holy Spirit…
Galatians 5:16 ~ But I say, walk in the Spirit and you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh.
Walking in the Spirit is a choice. When we walk in the Spirit, we are choosing God’s plan by following God’s principles. However, in order to follow God’s principles, we must first learn His principles, and this requires Bible study. Not just reading the Bible but studying under a true teacher of the Word of God. You may see the problem here…time. A young woman of 18 years has had little time to learn all of God’s principles, but even then, she still has the choice to choose them. So, we can now see why so many young women begin their life on the wrong path.
For those young women in this stage, I will simplify it with these points…
Learn God’s principles and apply them to your life.
Listen to the older women in your life (especially your mom) who are godly women with godly advice. Surround yourself with them and learn from their experiences.
Rely on the Holy Spirit to guide you. He will give you the direction, the discernment, and the strength to follow God’s plan for your life.
There is no better place in life than in God’s will. For there is your protection, your strength, your purpose, and your significance. And only there will you find real joy, real peace, and real happiness that lasts.
Okay, I promised I would address the regrets that us older woman may have because of the wrong choices we made early in life. This is for you…
God knew in eternity past every choice you would ever make, because He is omniscient and there is NOTHING He does not know. God is never surprised by your mistakes. So, in eternity past when He knew the mistakes you would make, He made provisions for them from His grace. And that provision is found in Romans 8:28 ~
We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love the Him, who have been called according to His purpose.
This is a promise He gives us that when we make a mistake, He can work that out for our good. But notice the caveat…of those who love Him. And who are those who love Him? According to Scripture, those who love the Lord are those who obey His commands…
John 14:15 If you love me, keep my commands.
When we sin, and when we make a mistake, all we need to do is confess it to God the Father (1 John 1:9) Once we are back in fellowship, God can take the consequences of our failure and turn them into something good. (Read Luke 15:11-32) Does this mean we can flagrantly do what we want, then confess it to make something good come of it? No! God is full of grace, but He also knows our heart…and will not be mocked! This promise is for those who love the Lord.
So, in conclusion. If you are a young woman, build your life on the sure foundation of Jesus Christ and His Truths, by applying those Truths to your life. That does not assure you will not have problems, but it will assure you a blessed life that glorifies God, resulting in a life of purpose and significance.
For the older women, I have Philippians 3:13…but one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.
After we confess our disobedience, and our walk in the flesh, and repent (change of mind), then we are to forget the past and press ahead toward the goal that God set for us. This is when God turns our past mistakes into good. And in the process, God is glorified because we turned back to Him and His plan.
For those of you who have no clue what I’m talking about, because you have made good decisions in life, be patient with those who were not as wise. Give them grace (impersonal love) and encourage them back onto the right path, not interfering, but as the Spirit leads you.
Next week we will go onto stage two as we build on this principle. In stage two, we will address young married, and young mothers. I promise you an eye opener!
