Part Two - Loving Unlovable People
In my last post, we learned that loving the unlovable people with impersonal love is the key to obeying God when Jesus said to love one another (John 13:34). And as a reminder…when you use impersonal love, you are not condoning the other persons behavior, nor are you saying they are right. You are simply allowing them the right to be who they choose to be, just like you have the right to be who you choose to be.
Are you loving, kind, and forgiving? You can be with impersonal love and do it without condoning the other persons behavior. If you respond to hate with hate, or meanness with meanness, or are bitter toward those who are unlovable, then you are just like them. But you don’t have to be. You can be free of hatred, anger, & bitterness simply by choosing to respond with impersonal love that resides in the integrity of your soul.
For those of you who are honest and say that you don’t have enough integrity to use impersonal love, your solution is found in learning and applying Bible Doctrine, aka God’s principles to your life. This takes time and study, but make sure you study under a true teacher of the Word of God. One who rightly divides the Word of Truth.
Using impersonal love towards all mankind works because you are responding from your integrity not to their integrity, just like God. But what do you do with the hurt and pain the unlovable person caused you? This must be answered because it is from this hurt and pain that one falls into the sin of hatred, anger, & bitterness. And the key is found in three principles ~
First ~ The most important key to using impersonal love is found in the power of the Holy Spirit. It is the Holy Spirit’s power that gave Jesus the strength to suffer on the cross, although he was completely innocent. It was the Holy Spirit’s power that gave Jesus the strength to respond with impersonal love toward those accusers, liars, and murderers. During Jesus’ whole life, He operated from His humanity and ONLY with the power of the Holy Spirit as an example for us to follow. Because of that, we are without excuse.
The same power that sustained Jesus on the cross will give you the strength to love the unlovable, respond with virtue, and be God’s light in a dark world. However, it is crucial to understand that the Holy Spirit’s power is only available when we are filled with the Holy Spirit. And we are filled with the Holy Spirit when we have no unconfessed sins (post-salvation) separating us from His fellowship.
1 John 1:9 says if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
When we confess (privately) those known sins, God cleanses us from all our unknown sins too, and restores us to fellowship. Only when we are in fellowship, can we access the Holy Spirit’s power.
Ephesians 4:30-32 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Wow, that is such a powerful, convicting verse and says it all! This passage tells you what to do, and impersonal love is the way.
Second ~ Before you respond to accusations, gossip, or actions of others, ask yourself, “Does what they say have any merit?” This takes honesty and a deep desire to understand truth. It may be that God is using that person to reveal something to you. But if you can honestly say their actions have no merit, then understand their actions toward you are usually coming from hurt, pain, and bitterness they are struggling with in their soul. At this point, recognize that God has just put someone in your life that needs His love, and He is asking you to be His light in their dark soul.
Do you want to serve, obey, and be used by God? Do you want your life to glorify God? Then love the unlovable with impersonal love and don’t throw away the opportunity to show them God’s love.
Third ~ Consider where you place your identity. Do you place your identity in the other person’s opinion of you, or in God’s opinion of you. If you place your identity in other people, you open yourself up to hurt and pain, because all people will fail you at some point. If you place your identity in God, you will never experience hurt and pain, because God will never hurt you…ever.
If you truly place your identity in God, He is the only one whose opinion matters. If you know the other person’s actions have no merit, then stop trying to change their opinion…because their opinion of you doesn’t matter.
If you can’t ignore their opinion, then you are seeking your happiness in the unlovable person and not God. You are saying that God is not enough, and you would rather have the approval of the unlovable person instead of the approval of God. Loving people with impersonal love ensures God’s approval and glorifies Him.
God wants to be your all in all and the sole resource of your joy and happiness. Could it be that God has placed a difficult person in your life to teach you this principle? Difficult people have a way of driving us to the feet of Jesus…the only source of true love, true joy, and true happiness.
Using impersonal love is a choice, just like choosing to believe in Jesus is a choice. All that is required is your “yes” to God for Him to use you as an empty vessel by which His love flows to people in desperate need of Him. Be God’s salt and light in a dark world and use impersonal love for God’s glory in a small, but impactful way.
Cheers to impersonal love!
