The Principle of Grief
Brother’s we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men who have no hope. 1 Thessalonians 4:13
Why did I pick the principle of grief as the topic for a Valentine’s Day blog? This is a day we think of as a happy, fun filled day of flower’s, and candy, and fancy dinner dates with those we love. But what if the one we love is no longer with us?
My younger sister recently lost her husband of 33 years, and it got me thinking. How do we celebrate when we are greiving the one we love? One can also ask this question of those who suffer loss through divorce. But our love is not only for our spouse, but for family and friends.
Last summer, we lost our older sister, and missing her seems to grow as time goes on. How can we celebrate those we love when we are in mourning?
The verse I opened with is a verse many people quote when we lose somone we love. It’s meant to comfort, as only God’s Word can. But often it is difficult to wrap our minds around the fact that we are not to grieve like those with no hope. Because, let’s face it, when we lose a loved one, our pain is real and in the here and now. We know we will see our loved ones again if they were a believer. But how does that comfort us in our pain…now.
One thing that God gave us, is memory. The memory of our loved ones is what causes us pain, but in memory of them, we can also find comfort. When I think of those I love, who have passed away, my heart fills with pain. I desperately whish I could say, “I love you,” one more time. I want to hug them and hear their voice. It’s like choosing to swim in freezing water, but afterwards, you feel refreshed in their memory.
The problem is, many times we get stuck in the freezing water and forget to come out. We wallow in the sorrow instead of visiting the sweet memory as one visits for tea. For me, I have learned to embrace the pain because each time it passes, I am left with a smile having visited their memory. I remember both the fun times and the hard times, each event flooding pain and joy through my heart at the same time. And when I’m done visiting, I embrace the tears. Because the tears remind me of how much they mattered to me, and the blessing of having known them. Life is richer because of them.
Pain can be debilitating or it can be cathartic depending on how we process it. Valentine’s Day can be just as special when we use it to remember those we have loved and lost.
God’s Word is full of verses to comfort us in our loss. But there is no greater comfort in knowing that we will see our loved one again. In that is our hope and promise and comfort.
Revelation 21:4 “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
