The Principle - Peace Over Perfection
Dinner guests were coming that evening and Debra wanted her house clean and orderly but dealing with the kids all day set her behind schedule. So, she did what most wives do. She solicited the help of her husband. Only this was his day off, and Ray wanted to rest in front of the TV. Debra asked him to help a second time, to which he replied, “Why?”
She told Ray she wanted her house to look perfect, to which he called her a hypocrite. This sent Debra into a rage and set off a fight. Instead of sharing an enjoyable meal with friends, they pushed through the evening desperately trying to hide the resentment they felt for each other.
This story was taken from an episode of “Everybody Loves Raymond.” Although it was fun entertainment, I recognized the burden we wives often put on our husbands because of a need we have to feel better about ourselves.
Can you relate? I can. We want others to think we live in a world that, in reality, only exists when guests come over. Ray was right. Debra was being a hypocrite. That’s not to say we shouldn’t clean before guests come, but let’s not make it a priority over our relationship with our husband and friends. And above all, let’s not burden our husbands with demands to fulfill our need to feel good about ourselves. Although Ray can help out around the house, only God can fix our flaws.
And think of the message we send to our friends. If we present them a perfect, uncluttered, home, they may feel inadequate about themselves. Is that the loving message we want to give?
However, if we put peace over perfection, we have the opportunity to be God’s light, flaws and all. God’s light cannot shine from behind a facade of perfection. It shines from a pure and genuine heart, flaws and all.
Go ahead and tidy up but make others comfortable by being real. Leave the sliding door with smudges and your friends will feel at home. Instead of washing windows, let your husband share in food preparation, so he can share in the compliments. Serve them with peace, not perfection. And instead of showing them your home, show them your heart.
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Psalm 51:10
How do you stay authentic and avoid hiding behind a facade? Have you ever deliberately exposed your flaws or vulnerabilities? I'm curious to hear from you.
